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Conversations with Myself
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I've been neglecting this blog for a while, and I have good reason. This blog carries with it the negative, immature feelings that I had upon its creation. I loved FU Fridays and connecting with my friends, but I'm not as angsty as I was and a good bulk of my friends would sooner post their feelings publicly on Facebook than on this site. I have little to say, and I have little to read. (If I were to say anything, it's that my top two schools have both rejected me from their PhD programs. I'm still going to find alternate routes for the best possible future for myself. Like I said, I'm not as angsty. It's almost less fun this way.)

Well, that's not entirely true. I've used this site to follow webcomics. I come here nightly for that. I just realize that's unnecessary. I've transferred all of my feeds over to my Google Reader, thus making my LJ account rather moot. I unsubscribed from all the communities and killed my links to inactive accounts. I'm keeping my account active, and I'll occasionally glance at the site; but for all intents and purposes my LJ account is dead.

I know a formal announcement wasn't necessary, but I've had this account for over 7 years. It's earned a eulogy.

Anyway, I'm still on Facebook, and I still have my other blog I'm trying to update more often: http://let-me-say-it.blogspot.com/
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So I crossed the threshold of 26 over the weekend. I'm past the quarter-life marker and am now fully immersed in my quarter-life crisis. Seriously, I feel like everything has fallen apart around me, even though I'm just being unnecessarily dramatic. I know it must be a shocker to have discovered a LiveJournal user who sometimes is irrationally dramatic. Regardless, I'm working on the internship search and have discovered that all of the paying positions want someone with experience. Funny that internships, where you learn what you're doing, require that you know what you're doing. So I'm unemployed. Completely unemployed. To the point where I'm looking for work outside of my field just to get by. I actually did run out of money in my bank account for a spell...

I came back to Michigan for my birthday and got to reconnect with a few old friends. I'm not the only one in a position that I didn't imagine for myself. Tim is now going down the educational path that he originally wanted, that of being a teacher, but in order to do it all he's been working two jobs along with school. He doesn't have much time for a social life - not that it matters because most everyone has already moved out of Michigan. Amanda V is enjoying her married life, but she's found that her degree in art is going to complete waste. She's still working in retail and getting by on that with her husband's salary. Her degree is moot, she basically hates her job, and everyone has moved away. Plus it's hard to be the married couple. It makes people think that they need to be married or coupled up in order to hang out. She's not happy with that.

Steve called me earlier, with a belated birthday call, and he shared with me that, in short, he's pretty lonely. He didn't use those words, but his wife works full time like he does but on top of that does school every night until 10 p.m. - and volunteers on weekends in order to build up her resume. So he's left with a lot of time on his own. He works with fairly few people, and they are all married with kids and aren't interested in hanging out. He's tried to even reach out to the single guys down the street who play Rock Band, offering to play Rock Band with them on his big screen. They never showed.

With so many of my friends, it seems to be a similar story. Lonely, isolated, and not even necessarily where they want to be. I'm not incredibly lonely because I know I have a few really good friends nearby, but I often feel isolated because things have been so hectic in their worlds lately. No one seems to be exactly where they want to be. I'm wondering if this is the story of the 20-somethings this generation. Maybe it's just us. We received the wrong end of the stick, and we have no choice but to move forward with it.

I admit that I've been down lately, but I do refuse to just accept the hand I've been dealt. It'll take time, and I might get crushed in the process; but I refuse to accept that this is the best I can get. But first I have to get a job that I don't want so I don't lose my apartment have to move back to Michigan...

Well I guess this is growing up.
Dammit
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This position looks insane, intense, and also amazing.

http://losangeles.craigslist.org/wst/hea/806712616.html
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The requirements for the movie:

1. Has two female characters
2. who talk to each other
3. about anything other than a guy


So, how many movies can you name?

From this ol' comic strip: http://www.flickr.com/photos/zizyphus/34585797/
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I just watched the movie this afternoon after having wanted to see it in theatres and totally missing it. I've definitely gone soft. This movie drew so many tears from me. Really touching. I recommend this great movie to anyone with a heart.
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Good News: Despite my moving more northward, I have not moved into the bad part of Hawthorne. That's apparently East of me, around the Taco Bell-slash-KFC with the bullet-proof glass protecting the workers. Makes sense.

Bad News: Someone was beaten to death and left in his truck down the street from me last night. When I went out to run errands this afternoon, I noticed that the entire intersection was taped off by the police. When I asked about it upon returning home a few moments ago, I heard confusion because this is the good side of Hawthorne along with the tale of the murder. (Note: There are two churches at that intersection, too.) I'm not exactly sure which truck they were referring to it, but I got a strange vibe while driving by one of the trucks parked on the street last night. Not a good feeling to know that you drove by a dead or dying person...
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I need to get these two points out of the way first and foremost:
1. I'm an opinionated bastard. While I don't assert that my opinion is somehow more right than anyone else's, I do assert that my opinion has a right to be stated and shared.
2. I actually did enjoy my experience watching the film, but there are things that bother me about it when it comes to mind.

Without further ado...Read moreCollapse )

In the end, I was actually just kind of disappointed with the film. I didn't even have high expectations. I also realized why I don't own Batman Begins on DVD. It's a long movie with somewhat inconsistent characters and darkness for the sake of darkness. That's probably why I'll be in no big hurry to pick this one up on DVD.

Meanwhile, what I've seen of Batman: Gotham Knight doesn't look too bad.
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Not much I can remember about this dream except that I was playing with and petting a dog. It was fun and reminded me of when I had a dog and when I played with dogs belonging to friends. Of course, the dog begins licking my fingertips. It starts sucking my fingertips under its tongue. Weird place, but the dog seemed to enjoy it. Well, until saliva started coming out in bubbles. Then I walked away. I turned back around to find the dog had collapsed - essentially, as if it had been gagged to death.

The rational me realizes that there's no way to kill a dog that way with your fingers UNDER its tongue. The rest of me finds the dream disturbing because I still managed to kill the dog. Kind of fucked up.
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Sometimes I feel like one of these days I'm just going to fall off the planet. Not lost in the masses as the statement would usually imply. Literally, I feel like I'm going to just fall off the planet. The world turns, I fly, atmosphere - poof!

That doesn't mean I'm depressed. I've been on the cusp of that for a while, but I'm definitely not far gone. I just feel like something is amiss and I'm unable to grasp something.
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Probably not entirely safe for work.
There are worse things that can come to a person's mind when thinking about the city in which I was born. Weird robotic dancing, literal carbon-copy people, and gratuitous pantie shots are definitely a step up from the usual.

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User: gospelx
Name: Gospel
Website: Let Me Say It
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